Aussie Humor
As you have likely gleaned from previous postings the Aussies have
a particular outlook on life, world affairs, clothing, sporting, consumption of
food and alcohol and humor. Often
it is their humor that resonates through all other experiences.
Taking a piss
Yes, an affectionate term used to describe kidding, joking, making
fun of or otherwise tormenting another (in a good natured manner – of
course). It’s important to know
that despite how much the Aussies delight in taking a piss, that this is a one-way street that only Aussies get
to drive. Very much in fact like
their lovable koala (that’s not a bear, despite any references to the
contrary); Aussies look like fun, but have claws that they can used if
annoyed.
Nevertheless, they love a good joke and if done properly they will
enjoy, but again their favorite is to make fun of themselves or tourists. Examples of making fun of us include the
following:
Dingos – the feral dogs made famous by Meryl Streep
and A Cry In the Dark. We’ve been told that there is an
outstanding bounty on dingos. Well
there was once, but not any more.
In fact given that firearms are difficult to obtain and license, it’s
not really relevant.
Although these prevailing facts didn’t stop me from suggesting
this as a revenue source to Nicole last April. “Com’on it’s great.
I can go out, have a couple of beer bag a bunch of pelts and then be
home and still have made dinner.”
“What about Spencer?” “Well,
she’d come of course. You can’t hunt
dingos without a baby, that’s just crazy.
I’d be downwind, from a slightly elevated position the entire time, with
field glasses, a 5x rifle scope.
It’ll be fine. What could
go wrong?” Shortly after, Spencer
was enrolled in daycare on a full time basis. I still haven’t collected a bounty on a dingo, or anything else.
Bruda-bruda – a drought and flood resistant animal found
in Northern Queensland that a friend was telling me about. Yeah, I looked it up. Nothing. Bunk.
That’s the nice thing about the Aussies, you can never tell if
it’s a joke or something weird that you’ve never heard of. We’ll see how funny it is the next time
I look after his kids. I suspect
that they’ll have stories to tell their parents about dingo hunting.
It’s not just their love to make a joke but also the overall view
of the world. Again, I’m made
repeated reference to short and rather gauzy clothing worn by women here. Well with the summer routinely above
32C and the relative humidity vacillating between 65% and 99.5% the clothing
get’s shorter, thinner and gauzier.
In fact I’m surprised that there isn’t more cross dressing here. Seriously, I’ve given this one a great
deal of consideration. Really
think about it: wearing a short skirt to work seems like a way better idea than
a wool suit. Some how, as tolerant
as she is, I’m not sure that Nicole would endorse such pursuits.
At any rate, with the flimsy clothing there is a high probability
of seeing someone exposed by an errant gust of wind. This happens nearly every day. In fact I was standing waiting for a light when a fortuitous
gust of wind lifted a woman’s skirt over her waist, but so common was this
experience that she didn’t even flinch.
It was as though a gentle breeze has caressed a misplaced hair away from
her eye, rather than showcasing a lace clad bottom for the world to see. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to pry but
doesn’t that cause you any concern?” “Naw,
not really mate, I wear less on the beach, and besides mate, it stops the guys
from staring at my breasts.”
“Yeah, good thinking.” Reflecting
on this now, I’m not even sure she had breasts.
Given that the taking a piss
is a one-way street, it is a great way to wind up the Aussies who are
fiercely proud of all things Australian.
So when you “have a go” at their national symbols you’re certain to get
a reaction.
For example – The Wallabies
The Australian National (Union) Rugby Team is affectionately known
as the Wallabies. For those of you
who don’t know, a wallaby is a species of macropod, similar to a kangaroo but
smaller and very fast. The name
sake for the Australian rugby pride is based upon the originality of the
creature as well as it’s speed, agility and the fact that there is almost
nowhere in Australia in which the wallaby is not found.[1]
However, given that a) wallabies are small, b) that they’re a
source of pride in Australia, and c) that I am convincing when I play dumb, one
can have great fun with this.
“So wallabies
are just baby kangaroos, right?”
“Mate, they’re
not babies, they’re a different species, just smaller.”
“Just smaller
like babies?”
“Mate, they’re
not babies. Look, someone is going
to sort you out if you don’t simmer down.”
“I’m just
saying, babies are small and they look like baby ‘roos.”
“Look.” Now becoming increasingly agitated,”they’re
a national icon. They’re not
babies, but a separate specises from kangaroo. The rugby team takes their name because of how fast and
agile they are.”
“Ok, it’s just
that they seemed to play like babies last weekend against South Africa.”
Scream
“Are wallabies
in the same genus as kangaroos?”
I’ll have to get back to that answer, because I started running and
couldn’t hear the response over my labored breathing.
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